Whisper.

My contribution to the Secret Santa Exchange...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7680033/1/ Click here!

Banner by FrozenSoldier.

Apologies in advance for the shameless fluff fest.

The final list of dead and wounded.

Alpha 4.

*Capt Jasper Hale – Wounded. (1 i/c.)

Warrant Officer Peter Brennan – Killed. (2 i/c)

*Master Srgt Benjamin Toussaint – Wounded.  (3 i/c.)

1^st Class Srgt James Miller – Redeployed. (4 i/c.)

*Staff Srgt Paulo Raffinelli – Wounded. (Weapons)

Srgt Garrett Thompson – Redeployed. (Medic)

*Srgt Eleazar Del-Torres – Killed. (Medic)

Srgt Joshua Greene – Wounded. (Weapons)

*Srgt Ryan Holden – Killed. (Engineer)

Srgt Daniel Fredericks – Redeployed. (Engineer)

*Srgt Vincent Bradshaw – Killed. (Communications)

Srgt Harry Sawyer –Redeployed. (Communications)

Members of Jasper's original six man team have stars next to their names. Pete's team do not. If you're looking for Paul, (chapter 47) he's not there. He was killed in Afghanistan two years before the incident that killed Pete and the others.

He was a member of Pete's team, 4i/c and was replaced by James 'Jimmy' Miller.

This list is in rank order.

Any questions, let me know.

Don't forget, in return for a review of chapter 61, you can ask Garrett any question you like and he promises to get back to you.

Allow me to introduce...Garrett and Benjamin.

There's been huge interest in Garrett and Benjamin since they first appeared in chapter 55 so I thought I'd share the images that inspired the characters I gave them.

The image of Benjamin inspired a lot of this fic actually, I think it's quite a well known photograph.

Anyway...

I think it's obvious who is who.

One day I hope to find an image of Pete I can share with you.

And even of Jasper...as much as it pains me to say it, Jackson Rathbone just isn't this Jasper.

Anyway, welcome Garrett and Benjamin.

What do you think? Do the faces fit?

Chapter 57 - A Teaser.

Alice POV.


December 2006.

...It was strange, I didn’t feel as restless as I usually did on a Sunday, and I was actually feeling rather calm and serene. Even though he wasn’t in the house at that moment, I couldn’t help idly speculating maybe it was because I had Jasper to distract me. 

Whatever it was, I was feeling the urge to be creative, so I dug out a long neglected sculpture and set to work trying to carve the body shape of the baby hummingbird I was working on.

I knew it was a bad idea even before I started. I should’ve known better. The piece had been Angela’s idea, I should have insisted that she take it on herself. Clay was her medium, not mine. Everything I’d ever made with it had fallen apart. This was no exception.

I was on the verge of hurling it through the window when I heard a low chuckle behind me. Glaring over my shoulder, I caught sight of Jasper at the top of the stairs, a newspaper under his arm, and the amused grin from this morning back on his face. The smile suited him, so I didn’t have it in me to stay cross.

“Hey,” I said, turning around and wiping my hands on a damp cloth. “Where did you sneak off to?”

“Just a walk. The phone’s been ringing all day, it was drivin’ me crazy.”

I nodded in understanding. “It does that on Sundays. It was Bella, right?”

“Yeah, and Emmett and Esme, too.”

I laughed. “Esme doesn’t usually call me, honey, that one was for you.”

“Oh, I know,” Jasper said wearily. “She left a message asking me to come over. I didn’t want to upset her by being a miserable bastard, so I just ignored it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with needing some space,” I said lightly. “To be honest, I normally unplug the phone on Sundays. I’m not usually in the mood for company.”

Jasper paused for a moment, and curiosity flashed briefly over his features. But it was gone as quickly as it had come, and instead, he stepped further into the studio, peering over my shoulder.

He inclined his head at the work behind me. “What’s that?”

I sighed. “It’s supposed to be a hummingbird, a young one, what are they called?”

“A fledgling?” Jasper offered.

“Yes, that’s it. But I’m having trouble with its head; it’s unbalancing the whole thing.”

Jasper moved passed me, taking a closer look. “Keeps falling on its ass, huh?” He shot me a grin. It was a smile I hadn’t seen before, and I liked it, his whole face was lighter.

I stepped around him, reaching out to show him the problem. “I think the clay is too heavy. It’s such a delicate bird, it just doesn’t work.”

“The smallest bird in the world,” Jasper said with an absent smile. “Did you put supports in the body?”

“Like what?” I cocked my head to the side. This was exactly why I didn’t usually indulge in sculpture. These things never occurred to me.

“If you put some wood in here...” Jasper traced a finger up the delicate arch of the bird’s neck. “It would stay upright.”

“Really? It wouldn’t make it worse?”

“Nah, if you put the clay around it, you wouldn’t know it was there.” Jasper straightened up and turned away from the drafting table, treating me again to that wonderful grin. “It works for mud huts.”

My own curiosity spiked again, but I let it slide. I’d promised him I wouldn’t harass him about his past, and I intended to keep that promise. Instead, I returned his smile. “I’ve had enough for today. I’m going to go downstairs and watch a movie, wanna come?”

Jasper shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere else to be.”

I held out my hand. Jasper reached out and grasped it, and my frustration with my work evaporated as he gently squeezed my fingers. “Come on, then.” 

As promised - The story that built Take My Hand.

I made myself...and all of you, a promise when I began writing this story that I would base all of Jasper's experiences on real life accounts of the 2003 Iraq War. Obviously, the personal tragedies have been fictionalised, and characters invented. Things have been embellished, played down, or just plain old made up. But, each and every story has been based on something that happened to real soldiers...American, British, Iraqi, Kurdish...it matters not. They are all men.

This news clip in particular inspired me right from the beginning. Imagine this from Garrett's eyes, from Ben's, from Jasper's...from Pete's if you dare...

It was indeed, a scene from hell.

A Teaser...Chapter 54... (I'm officially in hiding...)

Edward POV.

Alice remained with Jasper, rarely leaving his bedside. She sat slumped in her chair, her head on her arms, her eyes blank. I’d been worried about her since Jasper had first fallen ill, but it was worse now. I felt real fear for what would become of her if she lost Jasper. She was his rock, his tiny pillar of strength, but he was absolutely everything to her.

We’d only witnessed them together for a few weeks, but we knew now that they’d been in love since the moment they met. I couldn’t imagine one without the other...it just wasn’t right. The unfairness of their situation made me angry...bitterly furious. It was just so unjust; they’d both been through so much already.

I’d loved Alice, or Mary as she was then, from the day she’d breezed into my life. She was this miniature, bright, exuberant, bundle of energy - always smiling and laughing. She brought light to everyone she touched. I’d only met Laurent once, but the change in her was evident from the start, and then one day, she just disappeared.

I barely recognised the girl we met at the airport the following year. She’d lost everything she’d ever had and more; she was a shadow of the vibrant girl she’d once been. I’d felt a real loss the day she’d returned to America, knowing deep down that she’d never be the same again.

She’d tried so hard to rebuild her life, to put the horrors of her past behind her and she’d very nearly succeeded. Even though I’d never been positive of the romantic relationship between her and Jasper, I’d noticed the change in her since they’d lived together. Little things, like driving and dancing. He’d given her a confidence I’d feared was lost forever.

But as I watched her keep her vigil over Jasper, my whole body burned with grief. We would lose her if Jasper died. He was the part of her she’d been missing and she would never survive without him.

Coming soon...

Everything's Bigger in Texas Awards.

Happy Saturday, people.

Take My Hand has been nominated in the 3rd Annual Everything's Bigger in Texas Awards run by the Jasper's Darlin's Blog.

It has been nominated in the following categories...

Best Use of Jasper’s Scars in a Fic

Best Southern Charm Fic

Best All Human Jasper Fic

Best Original Storyline

Best Canon Jasper

Best Overall Jasper fic

Please head over and show Jasper some love. 

If you don't like my fic, you can always vote for IdealSkeptic, she's up for a couple too. That's who I'll be voting for!

Here's the link...

VOTE HERE!

Much Love!

Chapter 53 ... A Teaser Of Sorts ...

Just a short one, I still have reviews to reply to before I can get the next chapter up. Enjoy...


Rosalie POV. January - 1998.

“Are you still here?” Jasper grumbled, dropping the book to the side.

“I’ll leave you alone if you promise to stop avoiding Emmett. I know you’re pissed at me, but don’t take it out on him.”

Jasper cracked an eye open and looked at me. “I’m not pissed at either of you.”

“Really?” I raised an eyebrow.

I didn’t believe him for a second. He wasn’t fooling me, I knew him well enough to know he was hacked off about something. As little as I’d seen of him for the last few days, I could spot pissed off Jasper a mile away.

Jasper sat up and eyed me steadily. “Not everything’s about you, Rose.”

“Oh yeah?” I shot back. “Enlighten me, then. What is it about?”

There was a long pause while Jasper and I appraised each other. I knew him better than anyone. He was my brother and, in some ways, my best friend. But he drove me crazy when he was like this, all fucking cryptic and vague. I knew he was pissed with me for hooking up with Emmett; the least he could do was be honest about it.

“What’s what about?” Jasper said eventually, grinning and closing his eyes again.

“Urgh! You’re so annoying sometimes. Why don’t you just say what you think?”

“About what?”

“About me and Emmett,” I ground out through clenched teeth. Why was he always so difficult? He knew I hated it when he ignored me. I’d rather he just fucking yelled at me.

Jasper growled slightly, snapping his eyes open and swinging his legs off the bed. “You’re not gonna give me any peace, are you?”

I remained silent, waiting for his response. Jasper always had an opinion, whether he kept it to himself, or not. This time, I wasn’t leaving until I got it.

“You really want to know?”

“Yes,” I said firmly.”

Jasper exhaled crossly. “Okay, I’ll tell you but then you gotta fuck off and let me sleep. I have to work later.”

I nodded my agreement and waited for him to continue, knowing that now he had agreed to talk, he’d explain everything to me properly. Jasper was nothing if not thorough.

“I’m not gonna lie, Rose, I’m in two minds about it. On the one hand, I’m pleased you’re finally with someone who’s not a total douchebag. But on the other hand, my best friend has been fooling around with my little sister.”

“I guess I understand that,” I said, frowning. “But that’s why we didn’t tell you straight away, Emmett said you’d be pissed.”

“I know, and I was...but I’m over it. I just have a lot going on. Let me get this trip paid for and then I’ll sort it out with Emmett, okay?”

“All right,” I threw up my hands in defeat, knowing that this was as good as I was going to get from him, right now. “But Esme said to tell you she wants you at dinner tonight, or she’s coming looking for you.”

Jasper threw up his hands in defeat. “That’s fine, but I don’t get off un...”

The crash of the front door reverberated through the house, signalling my dad was home. I rolled my eyes as I heard him walk into the dresser in the hallway. Jasper wouldn’t let me move it; he said it served him right every time he collided with it.

I turned back to Jasper, ready to begin another round of that particular discussion, it was fucking ridiculous. What was the point of just letting him hurt himself?

But Jasper wasn’t there. His window was open and his curtains were flapping in the breeze, but Jasper was long gone.

Sighing, I crossed the tiny room to close it, instinctively looking downwards to check Jasper wasn’t splattered on the driveway below. I was convinced he’d hurt himself one day and it scared me to death when he jumped from the second floor.

Not that I’d tell him that.

*TMH*

So, even teenage Rose has a heart, huh?

My Favourite Review So Far...Chapter 52.

dear koko,

i have properly prepared myself for this chapter over the past week by rereading from chapter...10? to chapter 30. just when i had a moment and i was hanging around on the internet, i'd read some here or there. annnd so i'm very refreshed on what's been going on pre-hospital days. and i just wanted to mention something before i review ch 52:

"Jazz, you know everything's going to be alright, don't you? In the end?" ch 12. alice.

okay, so, traditionally, alice just KNOWS things. she might not be able to see the future in tmh, but she's had feelings every time jasper has been close to feeling worse than usual. she knew something was up when she left for london and she knew something was up recently because she went to carlisle. which, i discovered in another earlier chapter, jasper telling her to just 'tell him the truth' regarding why jasper hadn't been around when he had gone to pete's memorial service. so i felt a bit more connected to her then, realizing that she might have found the courage to go to carlisle with that thought in mind... that jasper hadn't wanted her to lie for him back then and he wouldn't want her to, now, if she suspected something was up.

...anyway. what i'm getting at is in chapter 12 AND in another chapter back there when things were a little better [amazingly], alice reassures jasper that things will be okay in the end. i forget where it was mentioned a second time, but it WAS. it was there two whole times. she reassures him that in the end, things will be okay. now, i understand that can be interpreted in more than one way. i mean, let's be real, maybe the only way he can be okay in the end is to die and go be with peter and finally be at peace...

but that doesn't leave alice 'okay' and jasper wouldn't ever do anything that would hurt alice. i think that he'll hold on for her. even if she tells him it's okay to do what he needs to do, even if it means dying, i really really don't think that he would do that to her. he knows it'd kill her, too, and he wouldn't DO that. he wouldn't just die, even if she said he could. and she wouldn't give up on him, just as he won't give up on her. so... yeah. i am throwing chapter 12 at you and saying that that quote by alice gives me hope that even though times are dark and getting darker, things WILL be okay in the end! because alice said so and alice knows these things.

so while that is my optimistic side, believing that those two are too full of good and hope and love to deserve such a fate where they are separated, i won't lie: i'm so worried and upset and scared.

i don't really know where to start with reviewing. like, i'm too shaken and disturbed by this chapter to really form a coherent thought and to read between the lines and interpret and shit so... i think i'm going to pick out parts that stood out to me and try to go from there!

"...there had been something different about him when he'd said goodbye..I couldn't quite decipher..the look in his eyes had been heartbreaking..so utterly lost, as though he couldn't understand what he was feeling either." -this kills me. if i were alice, i would've connected that back to when she was leaving for london. same type of disconnect and lost-ness..he's so..just..not well. i don't know! i wish i could say something more interesting about it, but i think it speaks for itself.

"Jasper had been far from fine the previous evening. He'd barely strung a sentence together before he'd passed out on me." -it's weird how we know something isn't right, but we're just hoping so much that we're wrong, so we don't really do anything about it until it becomes very apparent that we're right or until it's too late.

"The room was empty. jasper's things were still there but the bed was gone, and so was he." -she wasn't freaking out enough already, but now to go to his room and see that he's not there..my first thought would be that he had died. we don't get to hear alice's thoughts right then and i liked that because it was like she was too shocked to think ANYthing at all.

i love that she takes the stairs..waiting for the elevator is way too long of a wait. and it puts too much faith into machinery when she could just walk herself up the stairs to him with her own two feet. i'm pretending that that's symbolic of what's going to happen and that in the end, though the machines/medicine helped jasper, it'll be the 'real'-ness of alice and of their love that saves him. magically, of course. [you should probably know now that if this does have a sad ending, i'll be in CRAZY denial for quite some time...fair warning ;)]

i think what really stands out throughout this chapter is just ALICE and how much dread she's feeling. the whole chapter is so full of descriptions of how utterly terrified and worried she is. she realizes at the end that she's behaving a lot like jasper does and she wonders if this is how he feels mostly all the time... which is heartbreaking in and of itself, but it's also a testament to the way that the two of them really are PART of each other.

but yes, i think you did an amazing job conveying how scared she is, but she also comes across as very strong. she wants to know what's going on with him and she wants to be strong for him and that keeps her going. even though she's probably way past a breaking point, she still does her best to just BE there for him and we can clearly see how hard all of this is on her, but she is definitely NOT weak. i just hope she can be strong enough for both of them..like i said above, they're part of each other and if alice is hurting, jasper knows it, just as alice is in pain by how much pain jasper is in. such a strong connection to one another..and you do such a good job showing it...

and i'm with alice..i have no clue what's going on with the medical jargon, but we can all sense it's bad.

"Despite the prior warning, the dim, unfamiliar room still took me by surprise. Jasper never closed his blinds. Even at home, he could never relax if he couldn't see the outside...an eerie darkness. It felt foreboding to me and it made feel dizzy."-it IS foreboding. i see it as the darkness in jasper's life. kind of like she's physically entering his mind. while before, he always had a window open to see outside and have some escape, now he's closed off and literally 'in a dark place' but it's more than that. it's like this is what the haunted part of him is like and right now, with all of his defenses down, it's creeping in and taking over. he has no escape from it because he's not strong enough to fight it. i know that the lights are off because it hurts him because he's sensitive to light right now, with his headache and fever and everything, but i definitely see this set up as so much more than just a dark room. it's a really dark side of HIM and i hope that now that there's no natural light coming from the window, no 'escape' into something else... that alice can be that 'light' and ground him when he starts to get really lost inside of himself and in the pain of it all.

hmm. they're trying to keep jasper from going into shock, but i think rachel is right to watch alice, too, and try to make sure she had food and some water to steady her. it's a LOT for alice to take in. i'm glad that rachel tried to help her a bit, at least.

when she goes back in, jasper has moved and is on his back with his arms at his side. which is a creepy image to me because it makes me think of lying in a coffin and i HATE that image of him there. so i'm ignoring that connection. but alsooo he's lying in a way that is less defensive. it's almost like he senses alice is there and wants to be more open to her, subconsciously. but that could also be my wishful thinking stretching things to be more optimistic than they really are. he might've just been uncomfortable the other way and happened to shift. i read way into things sometimes, as you know!

...i'm so glad edward is staying there too. he can be there if jasper needs him medically, but can also support alice, too. which she needs right now.

jasper is physically trembling because he's in so much pain and he tells edward to PLEASE give him the morphine. that's probably the most scary part of all of this because we're so familiar with how against medicine he is-especially morphine. so he's willing to risk losing a bit of his mind-his self-which is the scariest thing for him..just to stop feeling the physical pain. that is BAD. and really, really scary. i mean, i'm glad he's letting them give him medicine and help him and kind of think for him at the moment, but..it's really bad :-\

and it broke me when he talked to her and told her he didn't want her to drive in the rain, but knew he shouldn't be thinking that. i know high fever can mess with your brain..i'm wondering if the last thing he really remembers, other than the pain and being sick, is worrying about her coming home in the rain. which is adorable, because it's about her, but..when that was happening, he knew then that something was seriously wrong. and i guess we were kind of being led into thinking that it would be something happening to alice, because his worry was projecting onto her being away, but it was really him maybe feeling that something was seriously wrong with him. again, they're so connected that he couldn't determine if what he was feeling was something wrong with him or with her. they're just like..two parts of the same soul. so deeply connected. i'm not sure alice can exist without jasper being alive in the world and vice versa, so..he needs to get better some day =(.

love how alice takes control at the end. says to let rose in and then the two who probably love him the most sit together with him.

"..I knew this time, it wouldn't be enough." alice canNOT give up hope on him though!

i'm out of space. thanks for the gloom. you're too good at this!


Many Thanks to Lucy Alyce for the awesome review. She makes my day every time I post.


صديقي الحلو

Teaser... Chapter 52.

Alice POV

After stopping briefly at the house to get changed, I made my way to the gallery. Despite Jasper’s request, I tended to spend as little time at home as possible. The house was unbearably lonely without his presence and I avoided it as much as I could.

There were some things I needed to get done before he came home, though. Nothing major, just things I knew would bug him. Like the light bulb in the living room. It had been out for a few weeks but I knew if I didn’t change it before he got home, I’d find him doing it himself before long.

Carlisle’s main worry about releasing Jasper was him behaving himself, and I understood his concerns. Jasper and I had lived together long enough for me to know he couldn’t be stopped if he wanted to do something and I didn’t want to be the one trying to stop him. I wanted to take care of him...I needed to do that, but I didn’t want to police him. All I could do was ask him to look after himself and hope that he did.

It was the same tussle we’d been having since we met and it wasn’t something I could ever see changing. The thought made me smile as I opened the door to my office. It was just Jasper, and I wouldn’t change him for the world.

Resisting the urge to return to the hospital too early, I buried myself in long overdue paperwork. The gallery had been so far down my list of priorities over the last few weeks, the mountain of admin I had was overwhelming. It took me the best part of the afternoon to wade through it. 

It was past four o’clock when Brady appeared, the cordless phone from reception clutched tightly in his hand.

I glanced around the office when I saw it, wondering why I hadn’t heard the phone on my desk ring. The mystery was solved when I finally located it, unplugged and broken on the shelf above me. When had that happened? Exhaling crossly, I turned back to Brady.

My whole body froze when I saw his expression. “Brady? What’s the matter?”

Brady swallowed and held out the phone to me. “I’m not sure, it’s the hospital, they want to talk to you.”

Snatching the phone quickly, I pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” 

Happy Friday, Take My Hand Readers...

Hey, guys.

I've received an unprecedented number of death threats since Saturday's update. I wish I could say this blog post was to reassure you nothing bad is going to happen to Jasper...but it's not.

Instead, I'm just announcing the arrival of two new characters in the foreseeable future of Take My Hand. As ever, they are two undeveloped characters from the saga. Like Jasper, these two characters have so much scope for me to make them my own.

I'm not going to give them away, I'll let their arrival speak for itself, but I am open to guesses...

Who do you think is coming?

Koko.

Just some information.

Just to let you all know, all my work is now licensed under the http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/

Please click this link for further details, but, basically, it means don't go pinching my shit...it belongs to me so write your own!

That means no translating, reposting or anything without my permission. If you do post my work on your websites, blogs etc...you must link the story to me, not yourselves.

I don't think I know anyone who would actually want to claim credit for my rambling rubbish but there are some strange people out there!

Koko.

Ben Howard - Keep Your Head Up

Hey, guys.

It's been a while since I blogged. Mainly because I was too busy drooling over the All Roads banner and too absorbed by it to want to replace it at the top of my blog. However, we are about to enter a new phase of Take My Hand and I wanted you all to have this song ready for when it began.

This song always makes me think of Jasper...especially TMH Jasper. As the next few chapters unfold you'll see why.

The next...9 or so chapters are going to be really hard and as I've not finished writing the story yet, I can't guarantee a happy ending. In moments of doubt, sing Jasper this song and hope he listens.

Until next time...

Koko.

Koko23cat - The next project...life after Take My Hand.

Jasper/Peter.

Pete’s POV.

Pete is a hard working paramedic in the city of Chicago. His lover, friend and true other half, Jasper, is a brooding artist with a traumatic past.  A story of love, trust and friendship, but will it be enough? Adult themes and sexual content. Rated M.

A oneshot for the Fandom Against Famine collective. Will be continued as a multi chaptered WIP. Betaed by IdealSkeptic. Chapter 1 preread by Jasperluver48 and FrozenSoldier.

To be posted some time after 4^th of December. Put me on author alert if you’re intrigued!

Banner contributed by the enormously talented FrozenSoldier.

Yes, I did it. I grew a pair and jumped head first into the slash world. The lure of a relationship between Jasper and Peter was just too strong.

Picture this... strong, kind paramedic Pete lives with Jasper, three years his junior. A tattoo artist with a big heart and a tortured past.

Pete and Jasper are very close in this story. They live together, and share a bed, but above all, they’re good friends. Sparks fly when they are intimate, but their relationship is also warm, and comforting, especially for Jasper who has lacked that security in his childhood.

For those of you missing Alice, never fear, I couldn’t write a story without the Jalice magic. Alice is Jasper’s best friend; she found him on the streets of Philadelphia and brought him home to her family. Every dynamic of their relationship is still there, minus the sex. They are very close and in tune with each other, and Pete adores her, too.

It’s not all good news, though, (obviously). Despite his close relationships with Alice and Pete, there are still large sections of his childhood they know nothing about. Jasper has struggled with depression since Alice found him, but she’s never known why. He has other issues too that she doesn’t know about, things only Pete knows, but again, he doesn’t know the cause of them.

Pete’s job is stressful, and as the story progresses, things begin to happen that encroach on his life at home. It distracts him Jasper’s subtly deteriorating state of mind.

The overwhelming theme of the story is will Pete reach Jasper before it’s too late?

This is different to my usual style of writing. This story is dark, really dark in places and has more sexual content than I’ve ever attempted to write before. That being said, the plot is not written around the sex, far from it. Those who’ve read my previous work will know that’s just not me. I just felt that as two adult males living together, avoiding their sexual relationship would be unrealistic.

I won’t be posting this story until I have finished writing Take My Hand, at the moment, that story still owns me. But, because I’ve been asked so much what my next project will be, I thought I’d take the time to let you all know.

So there you have it...koko23cat is writing slash....

Alice's Character Banner.

Another stunning piece of work from Frozen-Solider...

I haven't the words to describe how much I love this...

Jasper's Character Banner.

Created by the amazingly talented Frozen-Soldier. How amazing is this?

A prize to all who can remember the meaning of the Indonesian quote...and where it is...lol.

Koko.

A bowl of fruit I like...14 Golden Apples! Or, 14 Hopeless Romantic Awards...

Yeah, I know, two posts in one day, but  I didn't realise you could download these babies until IdealSkeptic told me...

Here you go...

Unfortunately, despite Frozen-Soldiers enormous talent, I don't think they'd all fit on a banner.

Award Winning Banner - Remember When It Rained - Frozen-Soldier.

Just had to take a moment to promote this banner, and this fic.

The banner is one of my favourite of all time, and I've been telling Frozen-Soldier so for months.

The fic is amazing, too, I'm lucky enough to preread/beta it, and I can highly recommend it. The prequel, When it Rains, is one of my favourite non-canon pieces ever.

IdealSkeptic is the author...go read!

Hopeless Romantic Awards - The Results.

Holy *!*$!

I am absolutely staggered and delighted to announce Take My Hand somehow managed to scoop 13 awards, and I myself, koko23cat, scooped the prize of Best Writer. Seriously, WTF???

The awards won by Take My Hand were as follows...

Best Line
Best Kiss
Best Romance
Best Illustrated Story
Best Kid (For Pete's son, little Sam...)
Best Adapted Character (For Emmett *squeals*)
Best Daddy Carlisle
Best Momma Esme
Best Alice
Best Jasper
Best Jasper/Alice
Best Original Storyline
Best Story
Best Writer.

Massive thank you to all those who voted, and congratulations to all the other winners.

I was just as pleased to see my girls Frozen-Soldier and IdealSkeptic recognised too for their wonderful work.

Frozen-Soldier scooped Best Jasper/Alice and Best Banner, while IdealSkeptic took best kid for her depiction of Nessie in When it Rained.

Funnily enough, the award for Best line was apparently for the quote from Alice written on the homepage of this blog.

I'm absolutely humbled by the level of support from you guys for this story.

Massive thanks again,

koko.

Ps. Here's the link to the results page...

Hopeless Romantic Awards - The Results.

I promised you a picture...

Here is the picture that inspired Jasper's explanation for the helicopter pictures he found in Alice's studio. The pictures Alice had were a little less clear than this, she wasn't aware of the men strapped to the aircraft until Jasper made her really look.

But you get the point.

Also, here is the link to the true story. A little different to Jasper's version of events, but no less heroic...and no less heartbreaking.

Helicopter Rescue Mission

Until next time...

Koko.

Posting Update!

Just a quick note to let you all know, Take My Hand is on course to be updated on Thursday. Once again, my girls have come good.

Below is a song I've used when writing some particularly heartbreaking moments from Jasper's POV. Also, for some bizarre reason, it always makes me think of my dad!

It's bizarre because my dad is in no way melancholy and, he can't stand Cat Stevens.

I'm a strange girl!

Until Thursday!

Koko

باطني الأمل

New Banner and New Review!

How awesome is FrozenSoldier?

And how awesome is Harry August?

Check out the awesome review of TMH he left on the TwilightAwards blog...

The Review.

I have the best readers ever!

Love you all!

Koko.

باطني الأمل

Vote for Take My Hand!

Hopeless Romantic Awards. Vote Now!

Thank you to whoever nominated Take My Hand. The story is up for all kinds of awards, even Emmett and baby Sam are up for their own awards!

These awards are Bella/Edward free, so it's a chance for secondary characters like Jasper and Alice to shine. Even if you don't vote for me, there's plenty of Jasper stories to love.

Just click on the link above!

باطني الأمل

List of Outtakes

1. Jasper. Fallujah 2004. 436 words. (Chapter 10)
   
2. Jasper. Christmas 2006. 1807 words. (Chapter 11)
   
3. Jasper. Nursemaid Alice 2007. 1890 words. (Chapter 23/24) *LEMON*
   
4. Alice. Finger Painting. 2007. 2959 words. (Chapter 30/31) *LEMON*
   
5. Carlisle. Thanksgiving 2006. 1021 words. (Chapter 43)
   

 
Outtake procedure.

Recently, I've had a lot of enquiries about outtakes, so instead of replying to them all individually, I decided to write my instructions here!

As I've said before, the outtakes are written for and, sent out to loyal reviewers. I'm not going to send them out to people who don't review, because it defeats the point of not only my efforts, but those who do take the time to review the story.

Also, FanFiction has changed the review reply process so, most of my outtakes no longer fit onto PM messages.

If have been reading Take My Hand and you see an outtake mentioned you think you might like, all I ask, is you leave one review per outtake required.

Put simply, 1 review = 1 outtake.

The chapter you review doesn't have to correspond to the outtake. Just let me know which one you want. As stated above, most of the outtakes don't fit in a PM. My email address is available on my profile page, please send me an email with the address you would like your outtake sent to.

FanFiction does not allow email addresses to be sent via PM, so please contact me via email.

Just in case you can't get it elsewhere, my email address is koko23cat@gmail.com.

There will be more outtakes written at some point, so keep checking the blog for more information!

Many Thanks!

Until next time...

Koko.

باطني الأمل

حيويتها


What does this say? And where did Jasper write it? Stand by for chapter 57....

Update is now available!

Chapter 46 is now up and available for reading. Hope it was worth the wait!

See you soon,

koko.

باطني الأمل

A delay in posting...

Good morning, my lovelies.

Many apologies, but Take My Hand will not be updated today.

As I have been pre-warning you over the last few weeks, real life has taken over and the chapter is simply not ready to be posted. This story is written up until chapter 57, so far, BUT, it is not edited and beta read.

I have put far too much into this story, and so have so many others, to post something that isn't up to par, so please be patient until I can rectify the situation.

I don't know when this will be. Maybe over the weekend, or maybe not until next Thursday. Hopefully, I'm giving you worst case scenarios here, and it will be up before then.

In the meantime...take a look at the cracking new header in this blog, designed (and fitted) by the awesome Frozen-Soldier. I could look at it all day...in fact, I probably will!

Also, I have a new page on this blog with links to some of the stories I read...so if you get bored, maybe you'll find something new on there.

Oh, oh, also...checkout the Hopeless Romantic Awards. Somehow, Take My Hand has eighteen nominations. I'm staggered and I hope whoever nominated me gets around to voting, too!

Seriously, though, this is a non Edward/Bella round of awards, so it's an opportunity for the secondary characters like Jasper and Emmett to shine.

Definitely worth a look!

Thank you for your continuing support and patience...

Until another time...

Koko.

Because I don't have enough to do...

I have now signed up to be a prereader for SparklyRedPen.com

They helped me unravel chapter 56 of Take My Hand and in return, I offered them my services.

Only Jasper stories, naturally...

Anyone have any TMH Jasper questions for me today???

Delayed Posting.

This week's update has been delayed due to real life time constraints. Rest assured, it will be up as soon as humanly possible.

Please be patient with me!

koko

A picture for your heartstrings.

Happy Armed Forces Day, my American friends.

Jasper is a fictional character, so this clearly isn't him. But, if you want to get your head around some of the reasons he is the way he is, take a long look at this picture.

I've had some negative reviews over the last few weeks, but when I see images like this, I remember why I started this story.

Koko.

This week in questions.

Happy Friday, people!

This week, the teaser wasn't ready for public viewing. Instead, I decided to take questions from my readers...ie...you lot. As I was reading through them, it became apparent that the same questions were popping up again and again. So, I decided to post them on here, along with the answers.

Also, some people asked questions in unsigned reviews, leaving me unable to answer them directly. I hope you find this interesting. As I said in my AN, I'll answer anything if it doesn't involve a spoiler!

Some questions were asked several times in different ways, so if you're looking at this and thinking 'Hey, I can't see my question...' It probably is here, just not in the exact words you asked it.

Here we go...

Where the hale is Rosalie?

The million dollar question, huh? But, not for much longer. The next two chapters will hopefully resolve some of those issues. I can't promise that it will be easy, or, that everything will suddenly be okay between them...but I can guarantee Rosalie will be back in the story over the next few weeks.

I miss Emmett...I want to know how he's doing. He must be having a really rough time.

Good news. Emmett is up in the very next chapter and he's going to tell us exactly how he feels!

Is Jasper ever going to be happy?

Not sure. I never promised a HEA. At the moment, I'm concentrating on persuading him to want to try.

Does Jasper know Alice has been talking to Charlotte?

Yes. There was no reason for Alice to hide it from him. He's not happy that Charlotte is worried about him, but he appreciates the support she's giving Alice.

How did Jasper spend Veterans Day, and how will he spend Memorial Day?

Jasper met Alice on her birthday, November 15th. He spent Veterans Day on a transatlantic flight. He was happy with that, he wanted to avoid it entirely.

It's currently the end of April...(chapter 44...) so I couldn't possible comment on how he'll spend Memorial Day...

When did Jasper lose his virginity?

He was fifteen...that's all I'm saying.

Will Jasper ever fully recover from his injuries?

No. He'll never be the same again.

Will Jasper ever talk about what Tom Hale did to him?

Probably not. Later on, you'll realise, it really is the least of his worries.

How many people has Alice slept with?

Really? Is that what's important to you? A few...she wasn't kidding when she said she went a little wild in college. But, if you remember a little while back, she told Jasper she hadn't been with anyone since Laurent.

She's not innocent, by any means...but then, neither is Jasper. His lifestyle allowed him to have his fun with no commitments. He's never treated a woman badly, mind you :)

Is Maria going to show up?

No. Jasper has no freaky ex. See above for further detail.

Will Alice get to meet Charlotte?

I would imagine so, although I can't promise that the circumstances will be happy...

Can you write some more smutty outtakes?

Maybe, but not for a while.

Are they going to have sex in the hospital?

No. Aside from the fact Jasper is too sick, they both have more class than that.

What are you going to write next?

Chapter 57.

How long is Take My Hand?

Very. It will be around 65 chapters by my current estimate.

Is Calliope going to contribute anything else?

Yes! *squeals*

**********************************************************************

That's it so far... keep them coming!

Until next time...

koko.

Jasper the Ninja.

Okay, a lot of you picked up on Jasper's acrobatics in chapter 41, so I decided to elaborate a little. Jasper taught himself most of his skills, including kick boxing and acrobatics, but when he joined the army, he met a Brazilian guy called 'Manny.'

Manny taught him how to integrate these skills into Capoeira. Over the years, Jasper became very good at it and it was something he enjoyed. He lost contact with Manny, but there was another South American in his team in Iraq...'Rafi' and he used to spar with him.

Pete didn't practice Capoeira, his fighting skills were less refined and it was rare that he got the better of Jasper.

Jasper didn't use Capoeira for fighting, really. He has other disciplines like Krav Maga and kick boxing for this. He used it for strength and flexibility.

He hadn't pushed himself much in that respect since he came home, but he was just starting to get back into it using his punchbag when he got sick again.

Hopefully, he'll be able to return to it some time in the future, because he finds it quite cathartic and calming.

Enjoy the video, and think of Jasper while you're watching...water, anyone?

A new Question.

Galveston's Daughter asked....

Jasper's favourite films? and... Ideal way to spend a Sunday?


I'll start with films. Jasper has issues with films, but for once, not in the way you might think. He mentions in the Christmas Outtake that he always falls asleep when he sits on the couch with Alice, and you will have all noticed that he falls asleep a lot anyway.

BUT, falling asleep during films isn't a new thing for him. He's always done it. It means that he hasn't seem many movies in their entirety. It's a running joke between him and Alice, and something the Cullen's have forgotten about, (for now, anyway).

That being said, there are some films he likes. Shawshank Redemption is one, and Road to Perdition is another. He's not as squeamish about blood and guts as you may imagine, but he doesn't like most war films because they tend to be horribly inaccurate. For example, Jasper fought in Somalia. Although Black Hawk Down was before his time, he has/had friends who were there. That sort of film is too close to home.

But, he does like historical war films like Bridge of the River Kwai and The Great Escape.

He hates action films. He thinks it's all bullshit. He knows what it's really like to jump off buildings and out of airplanes, he doesn't need to watch someone fake it.

He's not keen on horror. Not because it frightens him, (as if), he's spent too many years watching Emmett crap himself over bullshit horrors to take it seriously. Jasper is aware that he is a little cynical!

You are all aware that Jasper is a martial arts and hand to hand combat expert. He quite enjoys some of the older martial arts films, but he doesn't like the more modern efforts where the stunts aren't real.

If Jasper had to pick a favourite genre of films, he would probably pick gangster films. He is a typical man in that respect. He's read all the accompanying books for films like the Godfather trilogy, so it doesn't matter when he dozes off!

Jasper and Alice don't share the same taste in films. She likes chick flicks to relax to while she has a glass of wine and a doodle in her sketch pad. This has only encouraged Jasper's habit of falling asleep. There is nothing he finds more boring than a rom-com.

She did promise to watch The Lord of The Rings with him, though.  He knows the books really well as he read them a lot as a child and he asked her to prod him if he started to drop off. They haven't gotten around to it yet, though. The opportunity has never arisen!

I will answer the second question over the weekend. It has given me an idea for an outtake I would like to write concerning the first Sunday Jasper spent with Alice after he moved into the house.

So, bear with me!

Keep these questions coming!

Until next time...

koko.

A teaser...Chapter 41.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6296736/40/

Chapter 40 has now been posted. As I'm not entirely sure at this point if 41 will make it's scheduled date, I decided to post the teaser on here as well as sending it out as a review reply. It is unbetaed, mind, so it's subject to editing.

Edward POV.

“What’s up, Jay?” I said quietly, approaching the bed and pulling up a chair.

Jasper looked up at me, a puzzled frown crossing his face. “Two days? I don’t understand. What day is it?”

Technically, its Tuesday now...you’ve been here since Sunday.” I paused noting the way Jasper had his arms wrapped around his chest now Alice was gone. “Are you cold?”

“A little,” Jasper said absently.

I rose and crossed the room to snag the blanket Emmett had brought Alice from home. Jasper smirked slightly when he saw it and I arranged it cautiously over him, taking care not to knock or jostle him. I sat back in my chair as Jasper shifted slightly to make himself more comfortable. Moving seemed to be causing him some discomfort so I waited patiently until he was ready to talk again.

“Thanks,” he said softly.

“No worries. So...do you remember what happened at all?”

“Not really, it’s all a little hazy. I remember the softball game; I think...how did I get here?” Jasper’s voice gave out on his last few words so I reached above him for the cup of ice chips that Leah had left him and put one lightly against his lips, encouraging him to take it in his mouth. I didn’t want to put any fluids in his orally just yet but his throat was bound to be sore from the ET tube and his mouth would be dry from all the meds he was on. Jasper sucked obediently on the ice and looked at me expectantly.

“Emmett brought you in. Mom was worried, apparently you didn’t look so good on Saturday and she sent Emmett to check up on you. He found you on the kitchen floor on Sunday.”

“Shit,” Jasper muttered quietly. “What was it?”

“An obstruction caused by adhesions,” I said and I then proceeded to fill him in on everything that had happened to him since he came in. I was right in my suspicions that he did have a sound medical knowledge, he knew what everything was and the questions he asked me lead me to believe that he understood everything I’d told him. I showed him how to hold his abdomen if he wanted to cough or take a deep breath and I helped him sit up slightly by raising the bed. 

It wasn’t easy to talk to him like he was a patient. He was staring at the central line in his chest and it was hard when I had to tell him he couldn’t go home until it was out. It was going to be a long road back for Jasper and now that I knew a little of difficult it had been for him last time, I felt even worse for him.

END.

Yeah, I know. It's not easy reading, and it doesn't seem fair that he has to go through this again. But, I think it's important to remember that Jasper suffered some really serious injuries. It's not like in films where the hero gets shot and is jumping off buildings again half an hour later. This is real life, and Jasper's a real hero, not some made up, contrived one.

I know which I prefer.

Until next time...

koko

Another question answered.

LadyJazzle asked ... What do you listen to when writing Take My Hand?

Haha, now that's a question. I do try to listen to music, but unless it's something really ambient, I tend to get too distracted. Staring into space is one of my favourite pastimes and music is my worst trigger.

There are a couple of songs that make me think of Jasper...Take My Hand Jasper, that is. I've shared the videos below. They are British artists but I just love the lyrics.

When I think of Jasper's military life, I tend to have film soundtracks running through my head, most recently, Road to Perdition and (thanks to Jbfrancis) Black Hawk Down. I won't link you the tracks just yet.When we get to that part of the story, I'll fill you in then.

Enjoy the videos!

Until next time...

koko.

The Beatles- Here Comes The Sun

It's official.

Take My Hand is now officially on hiatus over at Twilighted.net. I will continue to update it every Thursday on Fanfiction.net and I would like to take this opportunity to thank my readers over there for their continued support.

It's nothing personal, I just don't have the patience for that site. I'm too busy to spend three days trying to upload a chapter, only to have to wait a month for it to be validated.

Anyway, enough of all that...

So, what did you all think of Jasper's profile? Please let me know if you have any questions about him. Providing it wouldn't create any spoilers, I'll always answer them.

Charlie6859 asked: What sort of music does Jasper like? He never mentions it at all.


Okay, let me start off by saying, I refuse to fall in to that cliched trap of making Jasper a musician. Just because Jackson plays the guitar, doesn't mean Jasper has to. But, to answer the question, Jasper is as eclectic in his music as everything else.

He likes Indie and Rock music, but he's not into heavy metal. He likes old rock music, like the Beatles and Bruce Springsteen.

He's not into country music, it reminds him of Tom Hale.

His momma had an old collection of Jazz and soul records...Gershwin, James Brown, etc...but they disappeared after she died and he's never really listened to it since.

His favourite song - Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles.

His favourite album - Urban Hymns - The Verve.

He had an IPOD in Iraq for a while, one of the original ones. He was in New York in October 2001 visiting Ground Zero, and he bought it then.

It was his constant companion for a while, and he nursed it through sand storms and the like, but it eventually gave up the fight in 2004. Peter remarked once that he was never the same after that. Jasper responded by pushing him in the Euphrates, a river in Iraq.

These days, he uses Alice's when he goes running. He likes typical man music when he's exercising, rap and drum and bass.

Jasper doesn't play much music at home, he prefers the quiet. But he does enjoy watching Alice dance around the house when she has hers playing.

In fact, it's one of his favourite pastimes.

Please feel free to ask me more questions.

Until next time...enjoy the video.

koko

A short one today.

Just to let you all know, Jasper's picture and profile are now up on the blog. Also, check out the outtakes page for some new information.

If anyone has an outtake or missing moment they'd like to see, feel free to post a comment and let me know.

Have a great Saturday...

Until next time...

koko.

Another day, another banner...

Happy Friday!

This is the second banner the wonderful Frozen-Soldier made for Take My Hand. I love this one just as much, but for totally different reasons. It's the hoodie in the first one, and the eyes in this one.

My next task for this blog is to try and set up a page where I can put up pictures of how I perceive my characters to look. Because, and I discussed this with my beta, Calliope, not long ago, it's not necessarily the actors that I see when I picture them.

Jackson Rathbone has the perfect eyes for my Jasper. Say what you like about him, but his eyes have soul. However, his physique just isn't big enough to play my Jasper. Luckily, though, I have the perfect manip to get around that. I just need someone to put tattoos and scars on it!

Also, K-whingebag-Stew, is not my Bella. At least, not my Take My Hand Bella. She is far too ratty!

Ashley Greene as my Alice? I'm undecided.

What I'm most looking forward to, is finding a man to play my Peter. We have no idea what Eric Odom is going to look like in BD, but I doubt he will look like the Peter I've described in TMH.

Wait and see who I choose! Although, I'm going to have to do my picture trawling when Mr koko is out :P

Hope you like the banner, and the blog so far...if anyone is actually reading it, lol.

Until another time...

koko

Ps, I'll accept any help I can get with setting up this blog...our new toaster has me stumped...